Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Short Term Gain For Long Term Pain

Isn't it funny how we rationalize some decisions we make without thinking of the  long term impact? A quick or long thoughtful decision based on a current circumstance can result in long term pain. If only we could turn back the hands of time?

It could be a financial decision where we invested or did not invest in something, a decision at work or a relational issue regarding a spouse, child or family member.  Whatever it is, that short term gain has now netted long term pain.

It's even worse if we were told that the way we were going would result only in regret, pain and/or hardship. What makes us think that we're different, more invinsible, somehow not subject the laws of nature or even God?

Now here we are. We're beyond "I told you so" and lectures about "would have- could have- should have".  We wake with it,  go to bed with it; every TV program, conversation and bus advertisement seems to be about it and our thoughts are consumed with what we've done.

If we could just remove our head from our body just to not think about it.  We dream of the day when our thoughts are free from this negative thought obsession.  How do we get past it?  What's the solution?

It's so simple that it's difficult; FORGIVE OURSELVES!  Forgiving is hard though especially if someone was hurt by the decision  made; sitting in that self pity somehow feels justifiable for what has been done. 

Self forgiveness is a form of humilty. It admits that we're not perfect and we make mistakes. We are in great company;  David, Moses, Abraham, Paul, Peter, Sara, to name a few.

Self forgiveness allows us to be less judgemental of others; aware of our own fallibility and therefore we begin to see others through that lens.

Self forgiveness  takes away the self contempt and loathing that permiates a bad decision.

Finally, self forgiveness builds character after we pull ourself out of that pit and  know that we never want to be there again. We remember those dark days and nights; the immobility of depression, it is at that point that we commit to being a greater person.

We begin to make more thoughtful decisions. I call these decisions 360's. We begin to look at the whole scope and impact of our choices.  Decisions begin to be measured from a different perspective; less about us and more about  the consequences to others.

I believe that only through this process that we truly understand that short term gain  can equal long term pain if we do not consider the potential consequences.

Live on Purpose!

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