A friend was speaking to me about a decision she made which she regretted. She was in a particular sad time of her life and she began to look at key areas that she believed would be much better if she hadn't made certain decisions; her relationship was one of them.
She reflecting and wishing to go back in time to 'right the wrong'. She began to reflect on boyfriend's past, the joy of new love, romance and happiness. This was increasing her anxiety and making her even more frustrated with her current life; I see this quite often.
Issues about buying the wrong dress, choosing a different ice cream or even the wrong vacation destination are one thing but decisions that involve character and commitments are more troubling and should be distinguished. Issues such as keeping a relationship should be surveyed under a different lens.
What you need to remember is, at the time when making the decision, you surveyed all possible options, pros and cons, and with everything you knew at the time you made the decision. If the other option was a better opportunity at the time, you would have chosen it.
Regret is a useless emotion, maybe even a dangerous one. It freezes the love back in time, in a perfect setting. It forgets about the current family and friends in your life; it devalues their involvement and commitment in your life journey and it presumes nothing has changed from the point of your reflection to your current circumstance.
Truthfully all you really have is what is present right now rather than a distant memory that no longer reflects the reality of the time that has past.
Rather than focusing on righting the wrong decision that was made, perhaps a new perspective can be used; how to make the decision you made right. This will take character, integrity, change and a renewed commitment. You never know what will happen if you begin to treat your loved one as if they were the best decision you ever made!
No comments:
Post a Comment